Holidays, vol. 2

EDIT: posted by N on behalf of Mick

Holiday season is upon us - be warned!

It's the time of the year when normal, sensible, people turn into "holiday makers". The process is very similar to that, which turns some folks into werevolves during full moon. But instead of wanting our blood (unless maybe if it's properly packaged and marketed as a gift item for that special someone, and comes with a miniature shamppoo) they put on their most psychedelic Hawaii shirts, designer sunglasses and shorts that leave far too little to imagination, and head out in the relentless hunt for fun.

Now, there's nothing wrong with enjoying yourself and making the most of the little time that most of us are allowed outside our workplaces (this, of course, does not apply to post graduate students, who only go on holidays to have some structure and predictability in their lives). What is worrying though, is the intensity with which the average holiday maker sets upon the task of filling every minute of the holiday with action. People actually go on holidays with itinerarys that list everything that is a "must". God help you if you try to stop someone rushing from the over priced "Virtual Tour of a Traditional Village Experience" (most likely right next to the real thing, which you could see for free) to "A Traditional Feast", desperately trying to keep their tight schedule. How could they stop? That would mean abandoning the PLAN! And we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?

Another interesting quality that holiday makers seem to develop the moment their plane lands on foreign soil is the fascination with almost everything "traditional". Now, most of the places where we live today have ancient ruins or at least museums that tell us what may have been there. But you don't see people rushing to a nearby "site of cultural importance" after work. No, it takes a holiday, hours in steaming hot busses, and a whole bunch of people trying to sell you sarongs to make people interested in some piles of stones. Or do you think that most foreign visitors to traditional music sessions in Irish pubs could name a single folk music artist in their own countries?

After following a strict schedule for a fortnight the tired but happy holiday maker can finally return to work and relax. Now you only have to show all your holiday photos to everyone you know, make them drink some local wines (that cost next to nothing for a reason) you picked up, and tell them all about some wonderful people you met on holiday, but your guests never will.

All in all, it seems that people return from holidays more exhausted than they were before, and still manage to piss everyone else off with their stories. It's a small wonder that Holiday brochures don't have to carry health warnings like the ones taking most of the space on cigarette packets: "Holidays will exhaust you and those around you!" "Holidays cause stress!"

Well, mustn't linger... I'm almost late for my holiday already!


Mick Blogger