I always thought that this guy was quite a serious, "we'll nuke whoever we like" kind of fellow, but I guess it's never too late for reactionary statesmen to turn into stand-up comedians...
Monday, November 26, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
American puberty
I've got it! The mystery is solved! The dark secret of american psyche has been reveiled!
It’s been bothering me for years now; what is it about americans (individually and collectively) that drives me crazy. I know they are not bad peolple, but if you find yourself stuck in a room with two or more americans having a converstion, you will be looking for the nearest fire exit after a couple of minutes.
I was in that very situation recently, in a hotel just outside Dublin. An American couple was having their breakfast next to me and I couldn't help overhearing their conversation (even despite my continuous efforts to direct all my consentration to my cup of coffee). The husband was enthusiastically explaining his wife about the joys of Hurling (the game, just to be clear, not projectile vomiting) that he had just discovered. "It's like full contact, no paddings, and the ball is like bigger than a shot put!" Then his face lit up even more as he reached the crescendo "and they hit the ball like in baseball. I mean, you can totally blow someone's head off!" At that point I had already gone off my beans, but her reply very nearly got me choking on my bacon; "Wow!", she bellowed.
A moment later I was trying hard to concentrate on my orange juice and block out the outside world when the wife grabbed my arm; "You know what sport those guys in blue shirts are playing?" I looked over my shoulder and saw a table full of gentlemen with pictures of golf clubs printed on their blue polo shirts. I explained that given their shirts, the average age of 60 and the fact that the hotel is also one of the nicest golf resorts around, I would guess they play golf. "I knew it, it’s Hurling!" shouted the husband.
That's when I realised what it was about Americans that’s been bothering me; it's puberty. They seem to be fascinated by violence, they are unable to pay attention if a sentence has more than five words in it, and they either believe everything or nothing you say.
After my revelation I wanted to hug the couple and tell them about my wonderful insight that frees them from shame and explains their curious state, but after the graphic details of brutality involved in Hurling that the husband had enthusiastically explained, I thought it was best to simply walk away and keep my theory to myself. After all, he was a big, dim, and exited American, you can’t be too careful with them.
Now, after some reflection, I feel that future is full of hope. Puberty is, after all, a desease cured by the passing of time. So, my fellow human beings, let's not be cruel to the Americans, they might grow up to be perfectly reasonable adults – one day.
It’s been bothering me for years now; what is it about americans (individually and collectively) that drives me crazy. I know they are not bad peolple, but if you find yourself stuck in a room with two or more americans having a converstion, you will be looking for the nearest fire exit after a couple of minutes.
I was in that very situation recently, in a hotel just outside Dublin. An American couple was having their breakfast next to me and I couldn't help overhearing their conversation (even despite my continuous efforts to direct all my consentration to my cup of coffee). The husband was enthusiastically explaining his wife about the joys of Hurling (the game, just to be clear, not projectile vomiting) that he had just discovered. "It's like full contact, no paddings, and the ball is like bigger than a shot put!" Then his face lit up even more as he reached the crescendo "and they hit the ball like in baseball. I mean, you can totally blow someone's head off!" At that point I had already gone off my beans, but her reply very nearly got me choking on my bacon; "Wow!", she bellowed.
A moment later I was trying hard to concentrate on my orange juice and block out the outside world when the wife grabbed my arm; "You know what sport those guys in blue shirts are playing?" I looked over my shoulder and saw a table full of gentlemen with pictures of golf clubs printed on their blue polo shirts. I explained that given their shirts, the average age of 60 and the fact that the hotel is also one of the nicest golf resorts around, I would guess they play golf. "I knew it, it’s Hurling!" shouted the husband.
That's when I realised what it was about Americans that’s been bothering me; it's puberty. They seem to be fascinated by violence, they are unable to pay attention if a sentence has more than five words in it, and they either believe everything or nothing you say.
After my revelation I wanted to hug the couple and tell them about my wonderful insight that frees them from shame and explains their curious state, but after the graphic details of brutality involved in Hurling that the husband had enthusiastically explained, I thought it was best to simply walk away and keep my theory to myself. After all, he was a big, dim, and exited American, you can’t be too careful with them.
Now, after some reflection, I feel that future is full of hope. Puberty is, after all, a desease cured by the passing of time. So, my fellow human beings, let's not be cruel to the Americans, they might grow up to be perfectly reasonable adults – one day.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Sad stuff, but not as sad as The Times
The vast majority of us has heard about this high school shooting that took place in Finland yesterday. Truly, truly awful indeed. But I was also appalled by the standard of The Times article that made this to be a 'very Finnish incident'. The author based his views on some bogus stories about the ancient gods of Finland and also assumed that because Finnish winters are dark and cold that all Finnish people only have the luxury of proper friendships (as the rest of the world knows them) during the summer months. He also assumed that due to high levels of ICT use - the internet networking and mobile phones were mentioned - amongst the population and the youth in particular, people are gravitating towards a lifestyle that is increasingly alienated from real human contact.
This was the author's argument for the shooting being a 'very Finnish incident' indeed. I might be wrong here but has there not been several instances in one particular country before this and were there no clear connections to these instances? Not that I'm going to elaborate here but you dont need to be very switched on to realise this.
I've been amazed and to some extent encouraged by the number of comments that the article in The Times has generated. Most of these are being sent from Finnish people responding to the absurd assumptions and analysis being offered by the author. However, and this is worth paying that extra bit of attention to, there is also a large number of foreign people that happen to live in Finland who have responded very eagerly against the author's comments. And to make things even more interesting, there was even a Swedish woman defending Finland. That really assured me that my personal reaction was not that far off. You see, Swedes have brains, where could we get some for this reporter fella?
The article also generously suggests that Finland has 120 people per square kilometer, where in fact this is more like 14. Big deal, I know... just had to get that out of my system too...
Another pussy lifted on the coffee table was the number of firearms in Finland. Apparently Finland has the third largest depository of firearms per capita in the world (after USA, surprise and Yemen! - makes me wonder about the validity of this stat). This means, supposedly, that 56% of Finnish people have a firearm. What the author gloriously has missed, is that the majority of these weapons are in the households where hunting is a serious thing, and that it is common for people who hunt to have more weapons than just one per head. You know, the moose deserves to be shot with a different slug than the boar, and the rabbit, and the partridge, and the duck, you get the point here?
Enough of my disappointment for now. It suffices to say that my level of trust in the analytical capabilities of The Times reporter in question has suffered significantly.
Lastly, I felt quite shocked about the incident itself and still it makes me feel really bizarre. The conflicting question inside me is asking whether the Finnish people think of their homeland as a good place to bring up children as a naive and taken for granted thing with regards to safety and all, or, will these instances reoccur in the near future and change the face and fabric of the society on the whole? I'm really not sure but I'd still like to see Finland retaining some of the qualities that I've always attributed to it, be it naively or not.
Over and out.
This was the author's argument for the shooting being a 'very Finnish incident' indeed. I might be wrong here but has there not been several instances in one particular country before this and were there no clear connections to these instances? Not that I'm going to elaborate here but you dont need to be very switched on to realise this.
I've been amazed and to some extent encouraged by the number of comments that the article in The Times has generated. Most of these are being sent from Finnish people responding to the absurd assumptions and analysis being offered by the author. However, and this is worth paying that extra bit of attention to, there is also a large number of foreign people that happen to live in Finland who have responded very eagerly against the author's comments. And to make things even more interesting, there was even a Swedish woman defending Finland. That really assured me that my personal reaction was not that far off. You see, Swedes have brains, where could we get some for this reporter fella?
The article also generously suggests that Finland has 120 people per square kilometer, where in fact this is more like 14. Big deal, I know... just had to get that out of my system too...
Another pussy lifted on the coffee table was the number of firearms in Finland. Apparently Finland has the third largest depository of firearms per capita in the world (after USA, surprise and Yemen! - makes me wonder about the validity of this stat). This means, supposedly, that 56% of Finnish people have a firearm. What the author gloriously has missed, is that the majority of these weapons are in the households where hunting is a serious thing, and that it is common for people who hunt to have more weapons than just one per head. You know, the moose deserves to be shot with a different slug than the boar, and the rabbit, and the partridge, and the duck, you get the point here?
Enough of my disappointment for now. It suffices to say that my level of trust in the analytical capabilities of The Times reporter in question has suffered significantly.
Lastly, I felt quite shocked about the incident itself and still it makes me feel really bizarre. The conflicting question inside me is asking whether the Finnish people think of their homeland as a good place to bring up children as a naive and taken for granted thing with regards to safety and all, or, will these instances reoccur in the near future and change the face and fabric of the society on the whole? I'm really not sure but I'd still like to see Finland retaining some of the qualities that I've always attributed to it, be it naively or not.
Over and out.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Now I've seen it all!
I heard it on the news and I've seen the pictures but it just doesn't seem to sink in - lawyers protesting on the streets of Islamabad.
Situation must be pretty damn bad if lawyers take to the streets and start throwing stones at the riot police! Lawyers! Rioting! Do they have their secretaries to pick the stones for them, or make the reservations at the Plaza for an executive lunch in between a custody hearing and a bit of rioting?
What's next? Chartered accountants of the City on the barricades against Mr. Brown's hairstyle?
Seriously, I find myself in a curious situation of having to agree with Bush Jr. that General Pervez Musharraf should restore the constitution, step down as the army leader and hold (preferably free) elections... I mean, if lawyers are throwing stones at you, you're in trouble!
Situation must be pretty damn bad if lawyers take to the streets and start throwing stones at the riot police! Lawyers! Rioting! Do they have their secretaries to pick the stones for them, or make the reservations at the Plaza for an executive lunch in between a custody hearing and a bit of rioting?
What's next? Chartered accountants of the City on the barricades against Mr. Brown's hairstyle?
Seriously, I find myself in a curious situation of having to agree with Bush Jr. that General Pervez Musharraf should restore the constitution, step down as the army leader and hold (preferably free) elections... I mean, if lawyers are throwing stones at you, you're in trouble!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
