Friendship

Recently I made a little trip to Finland of which I mentioned about here as well. One of the things that was brought up was the ability to feel 'comfortable' and 'free of car key comparisons'. Well, I've been meaning to write about this for a while as all the things I said earlier turned out to be as I thought they would. So, this kinda made me wonder about friendship in general.

It was really good to see the old bunch after a long while. Of course, there are always some who can't make it due to family stuff or other carefully laid out excuses. Nevertheless, all the people who showed up for the party enjoyed themselves immensely. A brilliant night with sauna, swimming pool, food and ludicrous amounts of ethylic substances in liquid consistency - not forgetting the best part - the friends.

Sharing a small town background and football as a serious hobby for over a decade, we have all wondered off to various ways. Some are engineers, some bankers, some electricians and ther's even a bloody officer (I dare not say a gentleman...) in the crowd. Some have kids, some dont, and those who have them it seems that even their kids get along just fine when they meet, just like their parents do. So, friendship, how do you get to know that you share that with someone?

First, you need to have something in common that you all believe in. This is the single most important tenet of friendship. You must all believe that by sharing your time and thoughts with certain person/people, you will find a level of fulfilment out of it. So, it is a selfish thing then? Not exactly, but close. Of course we want to be with 'good' people, rather than 'bad' people but even most of the good people don't make the cut to become real friends. And this is the important part - how does one find 'real' friends to amend the gap left there once the brother/sisterhoodhood of the youth has gone their own way and you're left on your own in a new place?

I'm finding it difficult and this is not only because of living in a different country. People are just as 'good' and 'bad' here as they are elsewhere and even the cultural differences are not as massive as one might think. One of the things must be that I've failed to meet people that truly share my beliefs, be them about the society or the latest alcopop in the market. I guess my point is that when you meet a person you might become friends with, you will know that instinctively by the things that you share an understanding about. Maybe it is then, that here in UK where people are more prone to small talk and chatter than in Finland, it is more difficult for me to find my way through that initial barrier. Don't take me wrong, I'm becoming rather competent in this weather-talk (to a frightening extent!) but maybe the next thing to learn would be finding a way through. Maybe that'll take another seven years...

Right. Just a few thoughts this time. The good people writing to this blog all share something with me and that makes me feel good. Thanks for your friendship!